It was all supposed to last, but... We knew it was gonna end physically, but we were gonna be still connected, no matter what. We were really happy together... That June 8th I'll never forget, was a date that will last forever in my heart and mind. They couldn't understand what we were feeling for each other. They said it was too soon for us to be together... But I proved myself I could fall for someone in just about 24 hours. And that's exactly what has happened to me...
Family... they were the first to put that ugly face when I told them about him. Specially, the person I trusted the most... My mother. She was like... Who the hell is him? I don't know him... How do you pretend to talk about someone when you don't know that someone? I mean, he was the person who changed me, who made me believe in love... 'cuz I have never been lucky when it came to love stuff, but he made me feel the one in his life. But... my mom who was the one to talk 'representing' my family, she made me and him wait more than a month to see each other... And he waited for me. She pretended to never see each other, just to be friends... But there was love in the middle! How do you pretend to make me stop loving someone? You can tell it to my mind, but my heart will never stop loving him, even you like it or not, you won't tell me who should I love. I loved him, I liked him, I wanted him, and I still do.
If I could just fly to where he was... just 15 minutes from my house... I would have escaped from my house for 2 hours to see him, but I knew I was gonna be in trouble and I really didn't wanted that. Because, of course, it would have brought worse consequences...
And I say to myself, your parents may want the best for you, but they'll never know what's the best for you... They have to be there with you when you finally find someone or something that makes you incredibly happy.
But a few days ago, he told me he didn't want that type of thing anymore, because we never see each other. I felt the worst, because each one of us has needs, and I was what he needed the most. I couldn't gave him what he need. I had and still have a lot of love to give, but... I wish I have the chance to get that back again, because I can't go on without him... I can't be myself and strong enough without him.
I tried and tried to ask for a second chance, but no... All I want is, get him back, share moments together as it must be, love each other, and become two in one heart. My heart is begging for his arms to hold me tight, for his lips to kiss mine, for his eyes to look at mine forever. I'm broken in a thousand parts, because it was all because of them. I pleased them, but I'm not happy. I hope I still have a chance, and I won't care about what they say... my heart is my heart, my happiness is my happiness, I might not be 18 but it's my life and I decide when it comes to love. I'm sick of my ''sorry's''!! Why should I say a fucking 'sorry' for every single thing I do? My feelings are my feelings, and as I respect everyone's lives, everybody should respect mine, and that's the way it has to be. I never tell anything to anybody, but when it comes to me, everybody's in a queue to start telling me what to do. STOP IT! I'M FUCCEN TIRED OF THIS! Don't you get it? I'm really expressive and you can see it in my eyes, so please, stop!
I need to feel the spirit of freedom in me for just a little. Will a miracle save me? I don't know.
My destiny is already written and I'd like to know what's waiting for me next.
- M
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